God's Silence - Personal Update
Greetings! Nate and I wanted to update you on where we are with our next ministry decision. If you want to skip to the nitty gritty scroll to the last paragraph. Otherwise, we hope you will keep reading to gain a greater understanding of our current heart process.
Let’s get started.
Nate and I have been thinking a lot about silence. Specifically, the silence of God when making decisions. What if His voice remains silent? Does that mean He wants us to use our “free will” and choose a direction?
Prayer is not some magical weapon drawn to bother God enough that He finally does something in our lives the way we want to see it done. God’s character is not reluctant to participate in our lives, not bothered by our requests, nor unwilling to act on our behalf. Still, His silence can be troubling to our souls when we are desperately seeking His guidance.
After weeks of wrestling with these questions and thoughts, we have been reminded that God often uses His silence just as much as His words. For us, His silence in our ministry decision process has led us to make three distinct changes. First, we needed to take the pressure off. Second, we had to surrender to the process. Third, we needed to hone our ability to recognize and then release our own desires.
“God often uses His silence just as much as His words.”
Nate and I desire to be intentional about making our next ministry steps. So since last September, Nate and I have met weekly with Jeff Helton from Wellspring. Acting as our mentor/coach, Jeff helps us fortify our marriage and sort through the confusion of life, emotions, and the many voices speaking into our upcoming decision.
We proposed the above questions to Jeff, and in a compassionate voice, he directed me to study John 15:15-16. Specifically, he pointed me to the transition where Jesus distinguishes between servant and friend. Jeff went on to say, “Servants need to receive instruction, hear directions, follow clear commands. To use Jesus’ words, but friends ‘Know my Father’s will.’” He then questioned, “Brittany, how does that make you feel?”
My emotional reply, “Sad. I liken it to when a family member passes away. You still hear their voice in your mind, yet you long to hear their audible tone.”
Nate and I must have prayed at least 100 times in the past 8 months, “Lord, just tell us which side of the ocean you want us to live on? We are willing to do whatever you want, but we must know something by April!” Our earthly timelines make it difficult to take the pressure off our prayers. How many times have you asked similar questions, “Lord, do I make an offer on that house – I need to know in the next hour!? Lord, do you want me to take this new job – I have to give them my answer in 24 hours!?”
In their prayer book, Henry and Norman Blackaby say, “Many times when we pray, our focus isn’t on understanding the Father’s purpose, activities, and heart. Instead, we pray for our needs to be met without considering His eternal plans, or we let God know how we want Him to make us successful.”
Nate and I have also started to ask different questions in our prayer time. In John Eldredge’s book on prayer he writes, “Quite often God wants to address some other issue first, and he will be silent on one matter until we let him speak on the other.” Asking new questions and listening for God’s reply requires us to surrender to the process of maturing in our faith.
I often counsel young adults who are walking through a difficult season in life to start asking, “God, what am I to learn in this?” I have found it to be one of the most powerful questions to ask the Lord of sovereign plans. The beauty of asking new questions is that they invite you into more of a two-way communication with God rather than just making a prayer speech. I took my own advice recently, while contemplative prayer walking, and wept when he reminded me, “Brittany, you don’t have heavenly eyes.”
“The beauty of asking new questions is that they invite you into more of a two-way communication with God rather than just making a prayer speech.”
Henry and Norman Blackaby write, “Prayer is not for the purpose of getting God to help us … but for getting us in line with what God is about to do. Prayer is God’s invitation to enter His throne room so He can lay HIS AGENDA over our hearts.” That is exactly what God was helping me do with His remarks. He is helping me wrestle with my flesh that has yet to come under the authority of the One who does have heavenly eyes.
Finally, we have had to let go of the notion that we are going to “figure this all out.” How often Nate and I have prayed for guidance and in the same breath told God what our available options are. Our desire, and subsequent attempts, to figure it all out just adds to the confusion of navigating the decision-making process.
“Our desire, and subsequent attempts, to figure it all out just adds to the confusion of navigating the decision-making process.”
As noted by John Eldridge, “How fruitless it is to seek God’s counsel while you are privately committed to one course of action over all others? We must surrender our agendas. We must surrender our “best thoughts” on the matter. We must surrender our secret desires. When we do this, we are in a much better place to receive God’s thoughts on the situation.” The choice to lay it all before him and allow him to say anything he wants to us not only enables us to hear but also gives us confidence when he does speak that in fact we have heard from God.
“The choice to lay it all before him and allow him to say anything he wants to us not only enables us to hear but also gives us confidence when he does speak that in fact we have heard from God. ”
In 2014, after 8 months of following the “Spiritual Winds” after Nate’s job loss we would tell people, “Everything has changed, yet nothing has changed.” What we meant is that nothing in our earthly circumstance of unemployment had changed, yet our hearts were completely different.
We can say this same statement now. We still do not know if we will live in Nashville or Northwest Arkansas come July of this year, nor do we have answers to specific, deadline-oriented questions regarding a transition for a year stateside. We still do not know which side of the ocean we will call “home” after the summer of 2023. Yet, we are confidently moving forward in silence. Patiently waiting with the knowledge that God will speak at the right time.
Sincerely,
Brittany
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”
~ John 10:27
Resources:
· John Eldredge; Moving Mountains: Praying with Passion, Confidence, and Authority.
· Henry and Norman Blackaby; Experiencing Prayer with Jesus: The Power of His Presence and Example
· Henri J.M. Nouwen; In the Name of Jesus, Reflections of Christian Leadership