Support raising is an interesting path to walk on many different levels. It can be extremely invigorating as you share the story God is writing in your lives and watch Him connect others to it. It can be extremely discouraging as you share that same story and feel like God is being silent on the other end.
From an emotional standpoint, it is easy to fall into fear and shame…fear that you are coming across as “desperate” and shame over how you think others must be perceiving you. That is the place I was residing as I sat in church on Sunday. Our hearts are desperate to get to Germany…desperate…as we know that is where God is leading us. We are desperate to begin learning the heart language and culture of the German people. We are desperate to join our German friends in the amazing work they are already doing. So, how do we share that with people without coming across as “desperate”?
As I sat there, God sweetly whispered to my heart that what I was feeling was not “desperate”, but a Holy Desperation…a Holy Compelling…to be where He was calling me and where He was leading our family. That deep-seated passion and desire, that feeling that could come bursting out of me at any moment as joy or sadness or frustration or excitement, that overwhelming urge that it is time to “go”…He placed that in me…He calls and urges me forward with it.
I realized I don’t have to feel fear or shame, because I am not desperate. I am filled with a Holy Desperation to follow God where He is leading…and to not waste time doing so!